no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize