He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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