your thong is hanging out like whoa
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
