you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
