so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
