This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I have aggressive nipples.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
