Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Randomize
