you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
