it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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