i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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