Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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