i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
