sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
two words: eviction party
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
