Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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