This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
