my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Randomize