I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Randomize
