Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
there was a trapeze. enough said
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
