Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
what day is it and did you see me today?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
