Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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