Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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