So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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