she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Randomize
