Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
