Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
