i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
