what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
