Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
So much Jack, so little girl.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Randomize
