I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
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