Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
