Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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