if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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