Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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