It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'm too high and old for this...
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
