As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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