U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
