your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
