thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
