This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
