i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
