Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
