She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
