nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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