Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Randomize
