its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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