Quick, to the slutcave!
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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