just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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