Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
