Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Randomize
