tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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