What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
