At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
nutella sex= disaster
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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