ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Randomize
