Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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