my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Randomize
