yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
