i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
