Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Randomize
