Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
