Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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