being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
