In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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