how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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