it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
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