You just made me feel so damn special
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
You did what with his pubic hair?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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