so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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