I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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