Small penises have feelings too.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize