It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Well I just put wine in my tea
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
