I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
