Say something about gay babies.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
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