make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
