At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
