Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
