actually, I'm a sock model
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
