Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
