I want you more than these girls want KFC
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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