im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
